I’m in love with someone who doesn’t exist

I have this weird and sometimes annoying habit of falling madly in love with fictional characters. If they’re hot, it obviously makes it that much easier. But looks certainly aren’t everything. I couldn’t pick Odd Thomas out of a line up (partly because he’s not a real person, sure), but I’ve had a thing for him since I first got to know him a few years back (in Dean Koontz’s series of “Odd” novels). He’s smart, brave, and chivalrous. And he talks to ghosts! What more could you ask for in a guy?

Over the years I’ve fallen for a number of men who are completely and utterly made up. There was Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, of course. A reformed baddie who came to realize he DID have a heart. Sure he tried to kill Buffy quite a few times in the beginning (but hey, she tried to kill him too!). And yeah, he might’ve tortured a few of her friends and drank some human blood every now and again. The important part, though, was that, despite the whole evil vampire thing, his feelings for the slayer eventually did a 180 - from hatred to love. Once Spike came to grips with this fact, his love for Buffy made him want to change. Made him want be good. Come on, how effing romantic is that?!?

Up until recently, I was totally in love (not to mention lust) with Sawyer from Lost. Yes, he was a con man. Yes, he made some questionable decisions at times. And yes, he was a selfish SOB who had it in for Jack and didn’t bother trying to hide it. But, as you know if you watched the show, Sawyer changed as time went by. He watched over Claire and Aaron. He became good friends with Hurley (I loved watching their friendship blossom). He fell in love with Juliet (though I still to this day think he should’ve ended up with Kate – I’m a “skater” through and through) and it broke his heart into a million pieces when she fell down the well. Sawyer showed that there was much, much more to him than what you first thought.

Now, even though I usually fall for the bad-boy types, there was one good guy that I couldn’t help but give my heart to when I met him. Aidan from Sex and the City. I know the majority of SATC fans think Carrie and Big belong together, yadda yadaa whatever. But I always felt that Carrie could do better. Aidan was practically the perfect guy. Sweet, sensitive, hot, and a dog lover! (So Carrie had to quit smoking for him. NEWS FLASH: SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOU!) After dating Aidan for a while, Carrie finally succumbed to temptation and cheated on him with Big… and Aidan (eventually) forgave her!!!! But she still chose Mr. Big in the end. Oh well, hopefully Carrie’s loss is someone else’s gain (in the fictional Manhattan of Candace Bushnell’s imagination, I mean).

At the present moment, my heart belongs to one (fictional) man only. His name is Peter Bishop. Back in the “Dawson’s Creek” days, I never found Joshua Jackson that attractive. And even though I stopped religiously watching the show after two seasons, I did catch a couple of episodes of the final season when it aired (yes, I cried when Jen died from her heart condition). I wanted Joey to end up with Dawson, not Pacey (what the hell kind of name is Pacey anyway?) but, like I said, I didn’t watch much of the show after the second season.

When it was first announced that Joshua Jackson was going to be on a new show, my first thought automatically was “Pacey?!?” I know he’d been in a few other things (The Skulls, Cruel Intentions, Cursed), but he was certainly best known for his role on the Creek. After a few episodes of Fringe, though, I was able to look at JJ and think to myself “Pacey who?” I loved the show from the beginning. And, also from the beginning, I wanted Olivia and Peter to end up together. They had great chemistry right off the bat. They grew closer as time went on, and discovered they had a lot in common, especially when it came to Walter’s role in each of their lives.

And then IT happened. Fauxlivia (a.k.a. Bolivia, or Alternate Olivia) snuck into “our” universe and set her sights on my Olivia’s Peter. I begged for him to see through her. I screamed at him when he finally did the deed with her. But all to no avail. I was pretty pissed at him. But then, when he got the phone call telling him the real Olivia was stuck in the altiverse, I started to forgive him. When Fauxlivia asked Peter if he was going to kill her, and he replied with “No, I'm gonna get answers. And if I find out that you did anything to Olivia, then I'm going to kill you” – THAT was the moment I’d been waiting for! Despite what he'd shared with Fauxlivia, he showed that there was only room in his heart for one woman: the real Olivia.

It’s going to be a long, hard road for Peter and Olivia in the next few months. Poor Olivia, I can’t imagine how it must feel to be in love with a man who thought he was with your when he was actually with your evil twin. Fauxlivia wore her clothes, slept in her bed, ate her food, and stole her man. I, for one, am hoping for a scene by the end of the season where Olivia just beats the ever-loving s%#@!* out of her alternate version. Karma’s a bitch! But until then, I’ll be crossing my fingers and hoping that Peter and Olivia can find a way back to each other. (Sure, I’ll be a bit jealous of her. But since I’ve got a boyfriend that actually does exist, I can’t get too upset over it ;-)